Thursday, April 19, 2012


First I want to make it clear that Jim and I have made the CHOICE for me to be a working mama.  He has a good job and I know we could make it work for me to stay home if that's what I really wanted.  A lot of times I feel like moms who stay home judge working moms and act like we don't love our kids as much if we "let someone else raise them."  They also say that being a stay-at-home mom is the toughest job ever.  To that I call BULL.  I've done both.  Working while raising my girls is a MUCH TOUGHER gig.  I still have to get all of the things done at home on my time home.  (Sorry - that was a total tangent and not where I intended this to go.)

Most of the time I'm happy with the decision we've made and there are a number of factors that have gone into this decision.  Some of the main reasons include: obviously pay/benefits/retirement, I LOVE the district I'm in.  If I were to take a couple of years off who knows where I might end up teaching, if I'd like it at all, how long the commute would be, etc.  My happiness in my job is what allows me to be ok with it and I don't want to risk that.  I have the BEST job for a mom.  There are 180 days of school plus 2 extras for teachers (this doesn't include our personal days and sick days) so I'm basically a 1/2 time working mom. I'm off by 3:00 every single day - only 3 nights a year, no weekends, no holidays.  I think being a working mom makes for a great role model and I think that working in a school is an absolute bonus.

If there is ONE thing that gives me peace about working though it's the woman who watches my girls.  I never wanted to leave them at a "day-care".  They spend their days in a HOME with a MOM.  (I may add, we've had 2 of her 4 kids in class and they're fantastic.  That's how we ended up finding her.)  For the "let someone else raise them" comments... SERIOUSLY?!?!?  We are so very BLESSED to have someone else help mold our girls.  They've become part of our family, she's someone I go to for advice/input.  She LOVES my girls and they love her.  Even during the summer I take them to her house once a week just because they miss her so much.  (In fact, after Lucy had missed a week when she was sick, the first day I came to pick her up after she got to go back she started crying when she saw me and clung to Sheri).  We are so lucky to have such and awesome village to help our girls grow into the people they'll one day become.  Plus, I've seen plenty of kids who spend their days with just their moms who are STRANGE!

All of that said, there are days when I just don't want to be here.  Today is one of them.  I just want to be home playing with them, doing laundry, and making "real" and organic meals.  Our meals and house/laundry definitely take the brunt of the neglect from me working.  They get put off until last because I'm not willing to give up my time with them when I'm home.

Ok, this is the second post I've written this week and wasn't going to post.  I didn't think there was a point in posting and thought it sounded a bit...  angry?  I'm not, really.  Then I went to a staff meeting.  Our principal said one of the teachers who had a baby last spring, "isn't coming back next year because being a mommy is just too important to her."  My face FLAMED, I turned to the teacher sitting next to me (also a mom) and said, "apparently, if you work, being a mom ISN'T important to you."

Ok, so, I really didn't intend for this to be an angry/venting post.  Just to cheer things back up, I'll throw in some of the pictures we had taken for Lu's 1st birthday!


ECUTwinMama said...

Julie, yes. Yes. Being a working mother is HARD. And so many people criticize our decision to work outside of our homes. And it makes me angry as well. I sympathize.

Lisa said...

AMEN!!! So funny, I have had a post brewing like this for the last couple of weeks, but like you, I am kind of afraid to post things like that. GOOD FOR YOU! I could go on and on about how tired I get of hearing about how being a stay at home mom is harder than a working mom - they are BOTH hard, and you said everything I feel. :) And, being a teacher as well, we absolutely do both, and I agree that it's the perfect "full-time" job for mommies!
Anyway, you took a lot of the words right out of my mouth, and said it well. And, the pictures of your girlies are to die for, to boot. Adorable!

CarleeLovesMINI said...

You're an awesome mom! Period! Whether you're a stay at home mom or not, you go above and beyond for those 2 girls and that's all that matters. :]